At this time each year, I take a moment to reflect upon my life. There have been a lot of changes in the past 5 years. My husband and I moved 2200 miles from NH to TX to be closer to his elderly parents. That meant moving away from mine. It has been a really difficult adjustment for me. When we moved in 2017 I made sure that I already had a trip home planned. I traveled back to NH four times during our first year here, 3 times the second year and during that second year we moved into a new house and family visited us…and then COVID hit.
The physical distance is felt daily, like an ache in my heart. I was used to being able to frequently visit my oldest daughter, son-in-law, and grandson when we lived in NH. I felt really guilty for making this move. Would they think I was abandoning them? To me, I felt like I was. The family has always been my focus in life. I like traditions, and Thanksgiving dinner all together is one of them.
Two more grandsons and flights home to help my daughter care for each new baby and now I had 3 grandsons living across the country from me. We struggled to have some semblance of visiting via ZOOM and Facetime once the pandemic reached fever pitch.
As the pandemic has begun to lift we have been able to have more frequent visits both to NH and in TX. It is really nice making memories in our new home. I like sharing new places, foods, and cultures with my grandsons.
Reflection
So this year as I think about what I am thankful for and what I am going to say during dinner tomorrow (we like to go around the table and tell each other what we are thankful for) I know that I will say I am thankful for my family, both near and far, thankful for the ability to have a nice home, a good job, friends, and new experiences. I will: say a little prayer for those people who are no longer living but hold a place in our thoughts. Be grateful that even though several of my family members and friends experienced the COVID virus no one was seriously injured or lost their life. Be thankful that even though our gathering will only be four people (me, my husband, my youngest daughter, and my 2-year-old grandson). I will be with people I love, and who love me. To me, that is the greatest blessing of Thanksgiving, for which I am very grateful.
What is Thanksgiving to you? I love to set a pretty table that includes seating cards, pumpkins, turkey salt and pepper shakers, candles, and flowers. I also enjoy having a couple of different kinds of pies, especially pumpkin! That is my FAVORITE! I watch the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade in the morning while I bustle around getting the house ready for guests. In the years when we had large family gatherings there were always games played after dinner and football watching/cheering. See future posts for decorating ideas, cookie recipes, and motivational activities.
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Writing
I realize as the days go by that writing is really helpful in getting me out of my head. I have been working on chapters for an online mental health textbook. Yes, chapters, plural. It is exciting and overwhelming all in one. The good thing is that keeping busy is really helpful during the grieving… Read more
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Feeling Angry
I have been feeling angry for the last 4-5 days. I want to yell at everyone and everything! While I am not exactly sure why this is I can surmise that it is related to my dad’s death and the upcoming life transitions that I am processing. Do you ever feel angry for no obvious… Read more
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Getting through Grief, What a Girl Wants
What is grief? How do you measure it? Getting through grief is different for each person experiencing it. There are many causes of grief from losing a loved one to the sadness that comes from a significant life event such as moving far away from family or ending a friendship. No two experiences are the… Read more
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Caring About Elderly Parents
Back at the beginning of February, I wrote a post about caring for elderly parents. Today I want to talk about caring about elderly parents. You see, my father is dying. Maybe not today or tomorrow, but sometime soon. He got home from the hospital about a week after I posted that last blog about… Read more
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Time Change, Mood Change
Since I was a young girl the daylight savings time change has been a focus of spring and fall. My mom and I have always jested, “It is now 3:00 but it is really…” I do well with gaining an hour in the fall (I love sleeping), but not so well with the springtime change… Read more
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After the Guests Leave
There is always that immediate feeling of complete silence after the guests leave. I can almost hear a humming sound in the air. What is that? Did I hear the faint footsteps of my two grandsons? Was that a giggle out in the backyard? What is that shadow near the window? It usually takes me… Read more
