It has been a long time since I last posted. I feel like the months, and summer since my father’s death have been jumbled. There have been a lot of emotions, activities, and life-changing events. I am one of those people who worry about everything. And, some of those worries get catastrophized beyond need. WE NEED TO STOP CATASTROPHIZING!
My mind is very imaginative of the absolute worst-case scenario. For instance, in the last two weeks, the tire pressure warning in my car has come on three times. The first time I was on my way to a meeting an hour away and I freaked out, picturing the car careening off the road as the tires exploded. We have had extreme heat and while I know that can affect tire pressure, I still got the anxious flush of adrenaline. A quick call to my husband, whose office I would be passing, and he helped me check all the tires and fill them with air. (My lack of ability to do this on my own is not the point right here).
The second time this happened, I was on my way to a new per diem RN job. My husband was not available, nor did I want to bother him, so I decided to drive to work. I planned to stop to check the tires closer to work if needed. Again, we filled the tires with air and all was fine. Yesterday I got into my car and as soon as I turned it on I could see the warning message. Noting that the tire pressure was low in only one tire and that it stayed consistent on my short 15-minute drive to town I felt relaxed knowing I could get to work. I planned to ask my husband to check the tire when I got home. The pressure actually increased in the tire during the day so on my drive home it was higher than it had been in the morning. This time my husband jacked up the car and found a nail in the tire. Problem solved.
Slow the Roll on Catastrophizing
How do we learn to slow the roll of our brains? I am still working on it if I am to be totally honest with you. I am really good at giving advice to other people on how to do this but I feel like my brain was made to worry. My dad was a worrier, but he was also a fun and silly person. I guess in observing the worrying growing up it didn’t seem so bad. The problem is when the worry consumes your every thought so that you are not living in the moment and enjoying the good things.
Control
Worrying too much is not going to control the outcome of certain things, so why do we do it? My husband says I like to be in control all the time. Part of that is true because it has to do with a lifelong desire or need to control my anxiety so that I can appear “normal” and enjoy my life. Having control over things in my life helps me feel steady. It is when the unexpected thing happens and the “what-ifs” begin to play in my head that I begin to get into trouble. Like with my car. A simple nail to the tire is not so bad in the scheme of things.
During the early summer, we had several really windy storms that blew off a bunch of shingles from our roof. I was terrified it was going to cost a lot of money to fix, so when the roof guy came to give us an estimate and it was only $600 I smiled from ear to ear. Maybe that is why I worry? Finding joy in the actual solution to things. I don’t know. All I know is that I need to slow the roll on catastrophizing.
What do you do to stop those “what ifs” and catastrophizing from whirling around in your brain? I would love to hear any tips you would like to share.
