Are you a perpetual Santa or Ba-Humbug? I am sure we all know people who fall into either category. In my family, I am a Santa and my husband is a Grinch. We had very different childhoods that shaped our adult holiday traditions.

Additionally, the other day I was suggesting to my daughter that when couples first get together they should discuss their holiday expectations along with religion, political affiliation, and the number of children they imagine having. For me, the divide in holiday expectations has become what I would call a deal breaker. The problem is that I have been married for almost 40 years and I refuse to let this actually break me. So, we have come to the understanding that we see things very differently.

I no longer think that maybe this will be the year my husband wants to help put up the tree. The truth is that I have become resigned to doing it alone unless my daughter is available to help. I usually play Christmas music, hang an ornament, and step back to figure out the next spot to fill.

The same goes for almost any other Christmas activity. If something is really important to me I have learned that I need to just do it. Have you run into a barrier with people in your lives not having the same holiday vision? What do you do? I would love to hear your comments and advice to share with others.

Barriers

As far as barriers extend is that the feeling of Christmas can be very different from person to person. We cannot expect that everyone else will feel exactly the way we do. So, having past experiences of loss or sadness can taint the excitement a person might otherwise have as the holidays are near. Trauma can rear its ugly head as memories are triggered. We need to be sensitive to that possibility. Did you ever wonder what might have happened to make Scrooge and Grinch hate Christmas?